and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize