Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
