It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
