Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
