Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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