Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
