And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
