Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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