If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
