I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
