In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
