We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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