you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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