So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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