is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
