honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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