I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think my mom watched the whole time
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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