Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize