Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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