before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
