Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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