12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
