found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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