Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
