According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
