If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
