I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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