Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize