btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
