Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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