i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize