Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
