So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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