the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize