Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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