some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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