The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
