i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
