i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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