no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
