Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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