Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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