She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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