i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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