I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize