Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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