As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
