Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
