mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize