Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
