the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
