You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
