Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
