I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize