I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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