At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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