did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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