How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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