I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
