so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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