spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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