My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
