just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
