There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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