The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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