p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize