I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
