If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
