hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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