My hand turned me down
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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