i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
