My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
