that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
