Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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