Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's never too late to be topless.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
