is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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