Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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